The process has begun turning this into this. Now repeat that.. 100 times.

Ashley found the perfect name for her blog, but didn't use it. Is "Ashley's Thoughts" that much better?

Meanwhile, mine remains blue. Somebody help me find direction.

Snot is EVERYWHERE. I hate, hate, hate the fall.

My favorite part of you is that you make me feel important.

Usually it's more of a fart.

1BADTRD was truly one bad turd. He had bullet holes in his *ride...

*Note the casual use of the word "ride"

I'm wearing a Phoenician boat.

Shaving is officially for the gays.

I finally got the FTP to work so I could upload the pictures from the last two weeks.

No, Kading didn't actually grab it.
But yes, we did get to see his.
And so did Liz, unfortunately.
Tubbs saw quite a different view.
Me? I just chilled.
Oh, and she came.
We dressed up that morning.
So did she.
And through it all, Will gave his support.

Yeah, I'm aware that it looks like crap. So don't bother saying anything.

I hate cards, and I think God is telling me to hate cards.

"Gonna have to take down one of those wangs." ~ Mark
"Man.. if I had a dime for every time Mark took down a wang." ~ Josh

Tuesdays are even worse than Mondays. Tomorrow I'm actually going to do something besides class. It's called homework.

I'm going to Iowa City on the 2nd, and then to Chicago on the 3rd. My accounting midterm is on the 4th... Ugly.

Mondays always blow and today was no different.

Could a football team composed of terminator-like Kevin Garnett's take out Daunte Culpepper? We'll never know...

What a great weekend. Spent a lot of money on things I need, not want.

I love it when I get to spend long periods of time with Buttzy. LONG periods of time prove how great a relationship can be. When you truly have nothing new to say to somebody and you still can talk and not lose interest, that's something.

Somebody back me up on that.

I have to wear a tie in 9 hours. Damn...

I have to buy more ties in 15 hours. Damn..

Apparently I don't have the right to write what I want.

Screw addiction.

It's been so long since I've felt the gambling high. I'm just terrified of its incredible lows.

I don't want to sacrifice my smile for grades.

This is me, completely.

Trying something new tonight. Nope, it's not that. Or that... you perve.

I really wish I could upload pictures again.. because after the first good full weekend back at school, I've got some good ones. I'm sure Matt'll figure it out sooner or later. I'm sure you're all real, real disappointed.

Cyber mooning is the new, improved method of butt-flashing.

I played poker at a Hold'em club this morning. The players were extremely weak.. but so was the prize. Winning got you only the money you invested. Prizes were based on a point system, and you'd need a lot of points to win. First prize to be issued in December?

Playing poker with a Las Vegas pro. That's not even fiscally amountable.

My 300th post is.. this one. Congratulate me immediately. I know you've been influenced and entertained by my website. Admit it. Just admit it.

My new obsession.

My mother appeared to me in a dream and said, "You're sure you looked for them? Because if I come up there and find them, you're going to be in big trouble." Of course I looked again, and of course I found them.

All I needed was a little flashback.

I lost my friggin shoes. How? HOW? Will's worked. Well, as well as they needed to.

I guess I've gotta buy some new ones. I was due anyway.

Did you know the animals that eat the most humans every year are hippos? It's so surprising. I thought hippos just ate those little white marbles.

That's what the point of hungry-hungry-hippos was, right? That hippos were marblevores?

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now

I was finally able to access Matt's server to store more pictures. Here's what you've missed in the past week:

:::Crazy got gayed playing cards.
:::A hilarious sideshow and his hickey-ridden "girlfriend" strolled into our lives.
:::I played sleep tennis.
:::Mark's girlfriend came to visit.
:::Will realized just how weird it is to live with me.
:::Kading outlawed gas.

And through it all, Buttzy never called.

About that shirt.. I'm definitely going to blame this on Mark. It was completely his idea. He's like, "He'll never even notice!" But then when the shoe drops, where's he? He's comfortably out of the crossfire. It won't happen again.. unless you hold it up again and say, "You should go with the pink polo."

Happy September. My first full month as a Jew.