We have a dump candle in our downstairs bathroom. It's used mainly for playing with while you're pooping, but also for its pleasant aroma. I was playing with it today, but it got the better of me. I dumped searing hot wax all over myself. Ouch...

I'm off to gamble away the money I "worked" for. I'd say "wish me luck", but we all know it's not about luck in this game.