Pledge capture featured:
1: Hour drive that should've taken 30 minutes.
6: Fake dead bodies in the corn maze.
83: Minutes spent wandering through the corn..without finding the exit.
5: People in the car scared by the poor, white, crazy woman who screamed, "Pull the fucking car over now!"
1: Corn cob that scared people. The rest were just rip-offs of my hilarious joke.
52,140: People that watched Game 7 of the NLCS in person, of which I witnessed 4 outs.

I always want to watch movies after they are borrowed. What is that about? Some primal urge to only want what you can't have. Just gimme it back..